[Magnezone]

So I watched last night's Colbert Report. It pertained to Conan O'Brien claiming that he made Mike Huckabee with the Iowa caucuses, with the following logic:

O'Brien breathed life into Colbert's carreer (Obrien made Colbert)...
Colbert breathed life into Huckabee's campaign (Colbert made Huckabee)...
therefore Obrien made Huckabee.

Then Jon Stewart then stepped in and then added onto O'Brien's logic that Jon Stewart made Obrien so therefore Jon Stewart made Huckabee. Thing is, this awoke a thought deep inside me and reminded me of another amazing piece of logic about money that I was bored with in 12th grade and decided to pursue for a few hours of thought.

LET US BEGIN

To start, we have 3 equations that everyone should be familiar with.

Knowledge = Power (The man that knows that orange juice does not mix with toothpaste will be better off than the man that doesn't know that)
Time = Money (This is more like Time = a valuable thing, but money will be a good substitute)

And this handy physics equation:

Power = Work/Time

SO WITH SUBSTITUTION

Knowledge = Work/Money

So in other words, the more valuable you get and the less work you do, the stupider you become! Switching the equation around makes it become:

Money = Work/Knowledge

Which makes it so that the more Knowledge you have, the more work you have to do to be valuable. This is one of the most truthful statements of life if you think about it. It just goes to show that education is a system that is meant to make everyone useless to everyone else but themselves.

So then I discussed this with a teacher of fine logics (my english teacher [my calculus teacher was scary]) and then he and his cynic mind added that knowledge is measured by the data you know over the data you are expected to know. He himself complained a lot to the administration of my school on how they continuously were lowering that bar of information students are expected to know so that it would seem like the people from my school was the smartest in the state, but that's another story. In summary, he added another equation:

Knowledge = Data/Expectations

SO WITH MORE SUBSTITUTION

Data/Expectations = Work/Money

And one quick mixup to get money by itself:

(Work * Expectations) / Data = Money

So clearly, what this is saying is that the less data you actually know compared the the data you're expected to know, THE MORE VALUABLE YOU ARE AS A PERSON! It's true! Watch Office Space. It is clearly an equation that models good ol' American values and economic prosperity! Oh, wait, our economy kinda sucks right now... I wonder why?

ALSO PLEASE SHARE YOUR OWN INFALLIBLE LOGICS

I MUST HEAR MORE OF THESE

AND I ALREADY KNOW THE ONE SAYING "GIRLS ARE EVIL"

I MUST KNOW DIFFERENT ONES

[Rick_242]

In my dreams Thorn has happy time with females for some reason instead of me but, that is another story.

We know for a fact that dreams =/= real

So if Thorn is portrayed as "sexy" in dreams we can conclude that it is not fact.

So, the value of S^ex is equal to or less than zero when Thorn enters the room.

* Rick flees

Seriously though, I had some equations like that in one of my notebooks when I was bored, I'll get back to you when I find it or think of some.

[CosmicFalcon]

* Emma Lover vaguely reminded of the "4^2  = -16" and "0.9999999... = 1" threads.

Good times.

Only this is entirely different in every possible way.

[Selphos]

When it's midnight and I'm sleep deprived, I think of strange things.

[00:08:31] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> ah man my throat hurts
[00:08:47] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> colds suck >:(
[00:09:10] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> on that note, my brother sucks for passing it on to me >:(
[00:09:19] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> and my brother's class sucks for passing it on to him
[00:09:22] <+Starly> Kill him and eat him! Er irrelevant
[00:09:43] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> and miscellanous people suck for giving it to them
[00:09:47] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> AND SO ON AND SO FORTH
[00:09:54] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> eventually leading to saying "life sucks"
[00:09:59] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> and killing oneself.
[00:10:06] <Sondow|SLPTEIM> INFALLIBLE LOGICS

[Rick_242]

Random thought I had while studying for my AP Env. Science class.

Population Growth = (Birth + Immigration) - (Death + Emigration)

Now when a sperm cell enters the female body, it immigrates into the female body. Giving birth is what the female does hence the birth percentage. Asexual reproduction counts as well making the single parent your mom/dad. Since female is the mother, we can substitute the following equation for this.

Population Growth = urmom - (Death + Emigration)

As time moves on, the offspring will leave the female's body resulting in emigration. The woman will eventually die leaving us with another substitute for the equation.

Population Growth = urmom - urmom

Clearly the world is going nowhere and will result in chaos and destruction. Go figure.

[douglas]

I just came up with an odd one:

The world is your oyster.  Oysters are an aphrodisiac.  Therefore the whole world makes you horny.  TRUE FACT.

[Crowbar]

Yeah, that's pretty much true.